Sometimes to heal, often to comfort. In the face of the changing roles brought about by illness, what needs to be healed is sometimes not only the illness itself, but also the patient's mind, that is even more in need of being cared for and comforted. And in the face of today's special patient, I think, as a caregiver, I need even more urgently for her to conduct a psychological struggle debate.

She is a kind-hearted grandmother who was admitted to ICU because of carbon monoxide poisoning and heart failure. After one night of non-invasive treatment, her condition has improved significantly, and no matter what care I have to do for her, she will always say, ‘Trouble you, little girl.
But this is such a kind grandmother, but also has her stubbornness in her bones, belongs to her stubbornness to the family, but also belongs to her attachment to the family.
From the beginning of her shift in the morning, the words she said the most were: ‘Girl, let me out of the hospital, girl, let me go home!’


Curious, I followed up with, ‘Grandma, why do you always think about going home, you see, your condition has stabilised, but you're not completely cured yet ah?’





‘My old partner is still at home, if I am hospitalised here, there will be no one at home to take care of him, that won't do, I have to go back.’ Grandma said.



‘Grandma, your children will take care of grandpa, just rest in peace and get well!’





‘The children are busy, three daughters, two are working abroad, only one left, more than ten miles away from home, inconvenient, still have to let me go back ah, little girl, you let me go back!’ Grandma stubbornly said.’

Originally, the grandmother's partner than her older than ten years old, has been eighty, 04 years after a cerebral thrombosis on the leg left behind after the inconvenience, in the field of the daughter always think of the old man to pick up, live around the convenience of care, listen to the old man's daughter, before the baggage are packed, on the way to get on the car, the two old people and do not go. Said the old man is stubborn, in fact, is even more kind, she only cared about the feelings of her partner and children, afraid to give the children trouble, but completely ignored their own bodies will not be able to cope with, they also need to be taken care of, to be cared for.



‘Grandma, do you think your children love you and are they all filial?’





‘My daughters are filial, this year's autumn harvest, the second daughter ran to my house every day to work for me, and she didn't come home until it was dark.’



‘Grandma, you're so old, and you're still farming?’



‘The harvest has been good these past two years, so I have to work for two more years while I can, so I can earn some money for myself and make it easier for the children.’


‘Grandma, you know that your children are filial to you, so you must want them to go out to work without any worries, right?’



‘Of course, the children have their own things to do and their own homes, they are very busy.’


I tried to guide Grandma, ‘Grandma, then do you think that if you were not feeling well, would they be able to work outside without any worries? Will they keep missing you while they are working just like you miss them, and then not be able to put their hearts into their work, and also drive home for three days because of it, and come back to see you? ’




‘Little girl, you have a good point, but, my old partner, he just needs me, the children can't take care of him, it's still me who has to take care of him.’


‘Grandma, you say this word I can not agree, just like you when the painstaking to bring up your children, you just do not know how to do mother ah, but also step by step to try and learn, so that the children thrive, and finally become another pillar of the family ah, the children are also the same, when the father and mother day by day to get older, they will also slowly learn, slowly learn how to take care of the old man. They will slowly learn how to take care of their aging parents, don't you think so, Grandma.’




‘Right is right, but I'm just a little worried, like there's a stone in my heart, I'm not at ease.’


‘Grandma, have you ever had such worries before? Has there ever been a time when you were away from Grandpa?’


‘The year before last, I was hospitalised, and during the days I was hospitalised, I was thinking of home and him every day.’


‘And then, when you came home from the hospital, did Grandpa feel sick?’




‘I came home to see, people have no problem at all, the daughter at home, he loves to eat what the daughter will buy him what to eat, eat better than I am at home.’


‘That's right, you're not at home, grandpa will be well taken care of by the children, don't worry about it, just listen to me, you should do the most important thing now is to get well, because you are the children's work and life's biggest worry, you and grandpa in good health, is the children's blessing ah!’


Grandma nodded her head, no longer stubborn, this psychological battle of the debate, I temporarily won a stage victory.

Yes, it is like parents raising their children and children supporting their parents when they grow up. It is the first time for anyone to learn to love and care. As nurses, we have to do more than just heal the disease, but more importantly, heal the mind, extend nursing care, and move from the body to the mind.

(Intensive Care Unit, Xinxin Liu)